Monday, June 8, 2009

Many times I do not understand the events in my life. It seems to come at me so fast that I can’t really process it until the decision has been made. Noah and I have really been striving to recognize and listen to the Spirit of God in our lives. We both realized that we had been limiting the Spirit’s work to salvation only and had never really acknowledged its role in leading and guiding our lives. Our journey hasn’t been the same ever since. We have been strengthened with new opportunities and challenges, and reminded regularly of pursuing obedience to the heart of Christ. This journey is difficult, scary, and absolutely beautiful. What I have found is that, in listening to the Spirit, situations, opportunities, and possibilities have presented themselves in ways that are hard to fully prepare for. I tend to be a bit of a control freak, so this has completely knocked me out of my comfort zone. I worry about everything that I can’t control, fully knowing that even what I think I can control is merely an illusion, and also fully knowing that if I could control anything at all it would be an utter disaster. Apparently what I know in my heart isn’t very good at convincing what I think in my head. God is bringing us through something wonderful and I’m not quite sure why. I don’t have great faith, great obedience, great self-control, great talent, or even great prayers. Maybe it’s my mediocrity that is appealing as anything done through me would obviously be from a great God and not of anything that I could produce. That’s beside the point really, as it doesn’t matter who, why, or how. For whatever reason, God is working and I am excited to be a part of it. It is a beautiful thing when you begin to see more of God and others and less of yourself. I pray that God will help me to continue on that path and not stray or wander into selfishness or pride. I pray that as God’s work is done that I will be humbled and He will be exalted.