No Fear in Love

I have always been very transparent about my fear about...well...everything. I have always struggled with serious anxiety and although I had a long break from the daily experience, lately it has come back in full force. I have taken medicine for this anxiety in the past and it helped tremendously, but I've been battling the idea of taking it again. I don't have any problem with taking medicine for problems like this, especially when one has a chemical imbalance or biological issues which are difficult to overcome. My struggle is a personal one; one in which I am not sure if I am taking the easy way out with medicine and not trusting enough in God. Please don’t take me wrong; I am not an advocate for the notion that medicine is wrong and that your faith is what heals, but I just wonder sometimes if I personally do not trust in God enough.

During our last Expressions service, a mid-week service that my husband leads at our church, we went around and expressed our greatest fear. When it came to be my turn to share I couldn’t narrow it down to any one thing. I realized that I fear so much and that this fear has a great impact on my everyday life. Our church’s vision statement and overall motto is “Love God, Love People”. I started thinking about the verse in 1 John: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18) I began reflecting on how my fears keep me from fully loving God and others.

If Christ is for me, then who can be against me? If I am more than a conqueror than what have I to fear? The circumstances of my life do not warrant such outstanding fear, yet the simplest thing can cause me to experience anxiety that literally makes me ill. I can only look inwardly when I claim to diligently follow and know my Savior and yet experience very little peace. What or who is it that I am relying on to satisfy this need? What idol is in place in my life that I look to for the peace only promised by my Creator?

Lord, help me to seek You first. Help me to surrender my anxiety and the chaos I feel and allow you to carry my burdens. I pray that I do this and experience the simplicity of your Yoke and the lightness of Your burden.